::hahaha::

Right now maybe I'm just want to laugh at my self...
like I always do
with a bitter laugh this time
don't know what to do

this pain that I've been feeling is really took my patience
it's f**kng to loongg...
I'm just too tired to hear other's 'sympathy' that for my ear is like judging me for not doing nothing about this pain.
They're just suggesting here and there... while I'm still holding to what that I feel works for me. Even I don't know if I can hold this treatment any longer.
I'm loosing my hope again.

and here i am..
back to You again, Lord.
the One that I left behind...
I'm already turn my back on You
even in this darkest time in my life... even when my heart keep telling me that You're the only Light... n still here I am, complaining, mumbling, regreting, feeling shame, afraid...

Show me way back in to your arms again...
ignore all of my pain
and being one with you
My One and only...




**I know You there... smile ...